In Which Dresses Are Not Worn And Ghosts Are Useful
by farfetched4
Summary: Eusine and Morty are getting married, but... Morty ain't wearing that dress, no way. Lyra and Kris can try all they want, it's not happening. Kink meme prompt fill.


Kink meme prompt asking for Eusine/Morty: 'Eusine and Morty are finally getting married, much to the relief of everyone in Johto. So, everyone gets together to arrange the most perfect and biggest wedding this region has ever seen! No detail is overlooked, especially not the honeymoon!'

and this jumped out of my head.

* * *

"I'm not wearing that." Morty crossed his arms, fully aware that they might try to force it on him. 'It' was a hideous contraption, countless layers of white lacey fabric overlapping, forming a very big, obnoxious dress, which would, if he wore it - and he would definitely not - cover his toes, and at the back, it trailed off for what looked like miles. Forget Johto, they'd need _Kanto_as well to contain that. It even had stupid white roses sown into it, everywhere. It looked like a grey-scale girl's bedroom, with bias towards the lighter shades. It was the most utterly ridiculous idiotic piece of 'clothing' (and he used the term loosely) that he had ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on. He was quite sure even his corpse would object to wearing it, and that was even if his spirit wasn't around to protest such matters supernaturally.

Lyra and Kris looked at each other, then pouted at him, turning up all the charm. It was puppy growlithe eyes if he ever saw any. And additionally very pathetic.

"But _Mooooortyyyyyyy_"

"No."

"The whole of Johto will be there!" They spoke in unison. It was creepy.

"No."

"_Eusine_ will be there!"

"Well, obviously. Hard to get married without my partner."

"Don't you want to look nice for your beloved?" Really, the speaking together thing was getting really creepy.

"Don't ever use that word again."

"But don't you?"

"'Nice' does not involve wearing that. Ever. I will wear a suit, and certainly not any frilly white torture devices."

"But..."

He tilted his head upwards to get a more threatening look on them, the room seeming to grow colder and darker. There was even a vague crackle of ominous thunder, as supernatural forces began to circle the room. Lyra jumped when one went past her at speed, and they pressed their hands together.

"**_No_**."  
They went sheet white as Gengar appeared behind them, grinning in a manner that suggested pain upon continuing the argument. Really, ghosts could be very useful friends to have sometimes. Kris shrieked, and pulled Lyra by the hand out of the room swiftly, and Morty vaguely heard a cry of 'Ethan, you're going to get murdered for this!' before they fled out of earshot.  
He was smugly petting Gengar, and some friends he'd brought from somewhere else (he'd learnt not to ask where) when he heard an amused voice behind him.

"Nice dress. That your attire?" He turned around to find Eusine, leaning through a window that he must have opened at some point, most likely during the ghostly invasion.

"Certainly not. I am not wearing such a thing." Morty stated, while Eusine mock-pouted.

"But it would look so _nice_ on you, dear..."  
Morty raised an eyebrow.  
"You'd say that with regards to a sheet with arm holes, honestly Eusine."

"True. But you shouldn't have given those girls such a fright. They were trying their best to make you look good..."

"Well then. I promise not to threaten them with ghosts when they promise not to try getting me into a wedding dress. Especially not one as hideous as that. I trust that the gastly can... deal with it." A flurry of excited ghosts later, and the dress was nowhere to be seen. Probably being put to good use making some good beheaded bride rumours. They were always fun. "I don't see why I was supposed to be the one wearing a dress, anyhow."

"Because, my dear Morty," He heaved himself inside the room, dusting himself off slightly before strolling over to the Gym Leader, "I simply look so dashing in a suit, there was just not doubt that if Ethan were to win his bet with Silver about one of us wearing a dress, he would have to work on you."

Morty mulled this over for a moment.

"Thank you for that information, Eusine. Now, I have some haunting to get done..." He kissed the corner of Eusine's mouth, before striding from the room purposefully, followed by a fond look until he was out of sight. Once gone, Eusine pulled his phone from his pocket, and started typing.

'_watch out ethan, my fiance is on the warpath, and i think it's the one in the land of the dead_'

Reports were, Ethan couldn't look at a dress for the next two months without going pale.


End file.
